by Marcus at the Movies
11:01 AM AKST, March 4, 2011
In the week after the Oscars, notorious for the release of bad movies, Marcus often plays dogcatcher. This year’s catch is the R-rated “Hall Pass,” starring Owen Wilson and Jenna Fischer.
Wilson and Fischer play a married couple. She has to put up with both his wandering eye as well as that of his buddy Fred, played by Jason Sudeikis.
“Click, click, click.”
“What are you doing?”
“Taking mental photographs. Click, click, click.”
Fischer and Sudeikis’ characters act like a couple of oversexed 15-year-olds, crashing the bar at an Applebee’s to pick up women.
“This place is dead.”
“The guy at the Company Inn said it doesn't kick in 'til about 9:30, so...”
It’s embarrassing, which is the single best word to describe all of the Farrelly brothers’ “Hall Pass,” their failed attempt at going to the head of the class as they did with “There's Something About Mary.”
In fact it’s not just embarrassing, it’s Charlie Sheen embarrassing: you’re embarrassed sitting in the theater, embarrassed to admit having seen the film. The dialogue covers most sexual acts and body parts, as well as both male and female nude scenes with -- you get the picture.
Oh, and to ensure a really good movie, the Farrellys gave Joy Behar a part. Really? Are you kidding? I need a latte to kill the taste.
“Iced coffee: one Splenda, right?”
“And for your mate?”
“Same -- two Splendas.”
Seeing “Hall Pass” was like spending two hours in detention for the worst of offenders, such as being a part of this sophomoric work of vulgarity being passed off as comedic entertainment.
Then there's the wives' perspective, featuring the women who sent their men off to act like little boys again for a week, thinking they would be like cats scratching at the door to get out, only to be back at the door within minutes -- right?
“So when he came into the room, I pretended to be asleep.”
“You're kidding: you've never done that before?”
By not seeing “Hall Pass” you can save time, money, and get the same effect by cleaning the toilet. No offense to toilets.
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