Running off at the typewriter. …
Florida State's come-from-behind, skin-of-the-teeth victory over Virginia Tech Thursday night could have been career-altering for coach Jimbo Fisher. Think about it: If FSU loses the game, Clemson likely goes to the ACC Championship Game instead of the 'Noles and fans start grumbling about Jimbo losing again to an inferior opponent.
Then Auburn fires Coach Gene Chizik and interviews Jimbo, who thinks to himself: "Do I really want to stay in Tallahassee and be on the hot seat next year or go to Auburn, start anew and have at least three or four years of job security?"
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Now, it's all academic. The Seminoles won the game, will beat Maryland next week to advance to the ACC Championship Game and will win the ACC title because they are vastly superior to either Miami or Duke.
And the 'Noles and Jimbo live happily ever after as their reign of ACC dominance and national prominence officially begins.
I've got this image in my mind of Kobe Bryant putting a big, brotherly arm around Dwight Howard and saying to him, "Now that, kiddo, is how you get a coach fired!" … So who will succeed Mike Brown as the coach of the Lakers? Hey, wouldn't it be cool if Dwight went to management this time and told them to HIRE Stan Van Gundy? . . . This is Mike Mularkey's first year as the coach of the Jaguars. And it will probably be Mike Mularkey's last year as the coach of the Jaguars. . . .
The Florida Gators' opened the basketball season Friday night by playing on the deck of an aircraft carrier. In related news, UCF is in discussions to open its season on the deck of Jerry Greene's belly. . . . Finally, State of Florida election officials are done counting our votes, and have made the determination that George W. Bush has won again! . . . But, seriously, I'm not saying we live in a dumb state, but who was counting our votes on Election Day — SEC football recruits? . . .
Mikey likes: Florida over Louisiana Whatchamacallit by 18, UCF over UTEP by 21, Miami over Virginia by 2, Alabama over Johnny Football by 10, Bucs over Chargers by 5, Saints over Falcons by 3, Bears over Texans by 4, Electoral College over Jaguars by 25. . . . Did you see where a Southern Cal student equipment manager was fired for taking the air out of the balls before last week's game with Oregon? What's the big deal about that? The Gators' offense takes the air out of the ball every time it steps on the field. . . .
During the election, Washington and Colorado both voted to legalize marijuana. Coming soon: The Honey Badger announces he wants to become either a Huskie or a Buffalo. . . . Jimmy Fallon: "Colorado became the first state to legalize the recreational use of marijuana. They just renamed their NBA team the Denver McNuggets." . . . Dwight Howard career statistics: 18.4 points, 13.1 rebounds, 2.0 fired coaches. . . . Some members of the Magic were reportedly mad Tuesday when Chicago Bulls center Joakim Noah, the former Gator, launched a 3-pointer at the end of the game to try to win free Big Macs for everybody in the United Center. The Bulls have a promotion through which fans can get a free Big Mac if the home team scores 100 points. Notice how I said "some" Magic players were supposedly mad? I'm thinking Glen Davis was upset the shot didn't go in. Hey, Big Baby wanted his Big Mac, too. . . .
Actual sign posted at golf club in Scotland: "(1) Back straight, knees bent, feet shoulder width apart. (2) Form a loose grip. (3) Keep your head down. (4) Stay out of the water. (5) Try not to hit anyone. (6) If you're taking too long, let others go ahead of you. (7) Don't stand directly in front of others. (8) Quiet please while others are preparing. (9) Make sure you're aligned properly with the target. (10) Well done! Now, flush the urinal, go outside and tee off. . . . Last word: "Some Republicans are taking the election hard. Clint Eastwood spent all day buying drinks for an empty bar stool." -- David Letterman.
Don't forget, you can click on OrlandoSentinel.com and read the wildly popular Open Mike blog and interactive extravaganza to get my freshest takes on what's happening in the world of sports. Here's a blog item I wrote earlier this week about how the Lakers should hire Stan Van Gundy:
You can probably scratch the far-fetched idea that Stan Van Gundy and Dwight Howard might be reunited in L.A. in the aftermath of Mike Brown being fired as the Lakers' coach Friday.
Even though he should, I don't think Lakers' owner Jim Buss would consider Van Gundy as a candidate after the former Magic coach torched the organization for firing Brown Friday.
Van Gundy, in typical frank fashion, told the Sentinel's Brian Schmitz that the Lakers' dismissal of Brown was, "the most ridiculous firing in the history of the NBA!"
Van Gundy told the Sentinel that Brown's dismissal was "absurd," adding, "Why did they bring him back? They changed the entire staff, changed his offense, got two new players (Dwight Howard and Steve Nash), have had guys hurt since day 1 and gave him five games to get it going."
When Schmitz reminded Van Gundy he was available to work with Howard again, SVG replied facetiously, "I'm sure I'm at the top of their list."
Actually, he should be.
Why wouldn't the Lakers at least consider Van Gundy -- the best NBA coach available?