First lady's attendance at Hadiya's funeral necessary and vital

Visit will serve to comfort the family, the city

Michelle Obama is not only first lady of the United States. She's also a mother of two young daughters. And she's coming home to the funeral of a girl who was killed in a park about a mile from the Obamas' Kenwood home.

You've heard about Hadiya Pendleton, the 15-year-old innocent gunned down last week, another victim of the city's seemingly ceaseless violence.

So it's a good thing that Mrs. Obama is graciously coming back to Chicago for the funeral.

Actually, it is a great thing, a visit necessary and vital.

And I'm glad Mrs. Obama is coming home, to the South Side where she was raised.

Coming home is often a hassle for the Obamas. Chicago carries political connotations that are at odds with the image crafted by the president's myth-shapers. And lately, the relationship between the Obamas and the city has become ambivalent.

Besides, Mrs. Obama's daughters, like all kids, have planned weekend activities close to their home in Washington. And she's acknowledged the complaints about traffic tie-ups and the general hassle when the first family returns here.

"Does it make sense to get on the plane (and) shut down Lake Shore Drive to spend Sunday in Chicago?" she once asked.

Perhaps not every weekend. But it makes perfect sense this weekend. Because this weekend, Chicago needs her here.

Some of you may say that I shouldn't dare touch this subject because I'm a critic of her husband's policies. Yes, I'm a critic. I believe his policies are wrong. But this column isn't about that.

This is about Mrs. Obama and Hadiya and Chicago.

So let's stipulate: The first lady's return is an important healing act, for the city and for the people who live and work here.

We read about the death toll in the news. We see the gangbangers on TV, those boys with the flat brims and the angry eyes. We wonder when it will stop.

So Michelle Obama could do no less than attend Hadiya Pendleton's funeral. The Obamas have been publicly urged to do so, particularly by African-American critics who've hinted that the Obamas abandoned black people in the cities.

The president has tried to present himself as president of the country, not president of African-Americans, and this has caused strain. But it's also given an opening for other African-American pundits and politicos whose lights were dimmed when Obama ascended to the presidency.

Now, even though Michelle is doing exactly what was asked of her, some will invariably whine about it. I could have been one of them.

But the other day I attended another funeral. It wasn't the funeral of an innocent victim like Hadiya. There were no politicians hanging around.

The man in the coffin was a gangster. His name was Mone Stokes, shot dead in a dice game. Chicago detectives questioned several men who were with him. As is almost always the case, no one saw a thing.

It is easy to turn away from victims like Mone Stokes, or some skinny boy wearing black and gold in the coffin, the colors of the Latin Kings. These are the dead typical of Chicago. They are the result of the pathology that drives the gangs and the guns and the blood.

We isolate them. We keep them in a news ghetto. Their passing is formally noted. Then they're formally dismissed, as if dismissing them completely shields us from what happens out there.

To her family and friends and to most of us, Hadiya is a girl killed for no reason by some barbarian. She had a life coming to her. She was a person.

But to some politicians, she has become something else as well, a symbol, the perfect victim, the honor student and high school band majorette who participated in Obama inauguration ceremonies last month. All this makes her politically useful in the gun control debate, whether her family wants that or not.

It is the way of politics, and if you've lived long enough, you've seen other children so transformed, the dead resurrected as symbols.

Mayor Rahm Emanuel and Gov. Pat Quinn will also attend the funeral, and in all likelihood the Rev. Jesse Jackson. The jockeying for media face time will run right up to the service.

Mrs. Obama, who is not expected to make a speech, knows what's coming. She also knows that if her husband attended the funeral, the message would be that the mayor had lost control of the streets.

Presidents are no longer seen as the fathers of the country. The fathers died long ago. Modern presidents, regardless of party, are viewed cynically, as men of compromise and legalisms, of word tricks and power.

But the first lady is another matter. Traditionally, the first lady has been placed above politics. She's seen as the mother of the country. That's always been the role.

It's been Michelle Obama's role for years.

And the fact that she's coming home, to a city she and her family might not return to after her husband's term is over, is significant.

It's also good. And right.

She'll do what is expected of her. She'll comfort the Pendleton family, and she'll comfort Chicago. If you're a parent, you know that during the service, she'll also think of her own daughters.

And she'll mourn.

Because that's what all mothers do at funerals of innocent children.

They mourn.

jskass@tribune.com

Twitter @John_Kass

ct-met-kass-0208-20130208
The Color Run: The After Party » The Color Run: The After Party The Color Run » The Color Run Point Hope Celebrates a Successful Spring Whaling Season » Point Hope Celebrates a Successful Spring... Photos: Man Survives Float Plane Crash at Willow Lake » Photos: Man Survives Float Plane Crash at... In the Lens: Restoring Galena After Spring Flooding » In the Lens: Restoring Galena After Spring... Renaissance Fair » Renaissance Fair Photo Gallery: British Sports Cars Alaska Concours d'Elegance » Photo Gallery: British Sports Cars Alaska... In Case You Missed It (June 3rd - 7th) » In Case You Missed It (June 3rd - 7th) Photo Gallery: Rocky Mountain Elk Calf Born at AWCC Destined for Aleutians » Photo Gallery: Rocky Mountain Elk Calf Born... Tok Flooding » Tok Flooding Relay for Life 2013 » Relay for Life 2013 Photo Gallery: Alaska Air National Guard Evacuates Galena Residents » Photo Gallery: Alaska Air National Guard... Mary Poppins Cast Members Chat About Anchorage Production » Mary Poppins Cast Members Chat About... Photos: Centennial of Flight from Bethel » Photos: Centennial of Flight from Bethel Photos: AFD Responds to Midtown Four-Plex on Fire » Photos: AFD Responds to Midtown Four-Plex... NASA Photos Show Pavlof Volcano Eruption from Space » NASA Photos Show Pavlof Volcano Eruption from... Photo Gallery: Aerial Views of Yukon River Ice Jam » Photo Gallery: Aerial Views of Yukon River... 2013 Gold Nugget Triathlon » 2013 Gold Nugget Triathlon Photos: Pavlof Volcano Erupting » Photos: Pavlof Volcano Erupting Spenard Farmer's Market Kicks Off 4th Season » Spenard Farmer's Market Kicks Off 4th Season Trekkies at the museum » Trekkies at the museum Bike to Work Day 2013 » Bike to Work Day 2013 Photo Gallery: Pamyua Plays for ANHC Crowd on Mother's Day » Photo Gallery: Pamyua Plays for ANHC Crowd on... Photo Gallery: Faster Than a Falcon 5k Run » Photo Gallery: Faster Than a Falcon 5k Run Photos: 'Back to the Future' DeLorean Replica » Photos: 'Back to the Future' DeLorean Replica Photo Gallery:  Back to the Future DeLorean Visits Alaska » Photo Gallery: Back to the Future DeLorean... Photo Gallery: APD Medals of Valor and Shield Awards » Photo Gallery: APD Medals of Valor and Shield... 13th Annual Bike for Women » 13th Annual Bike for Women Great Alaska Aviation Gathering Celebrates 16 Years » Great Alaska Aviation Gathering Celebrates 16... Photo Gallery: Commissioning of the USS Anchorage » Photo Gallery: Commissioning of the USS... Photo Gallery: 22nd Annual Salmon Run 2K, 5K and 10K » Photo Gallery: 22nd Annual Salmon Run 2K,... Photo Gallery: Walk and Roll for Hope 2013 » Photo Gallery: Walk and Roll for Hope 2013 Photos: On Board The USS Anchorage » Photos: On Board The USS Anchorage NYO 2013, Day 3 (More Photos) » NYO 2013, Day 3 (More Photos) Denali Base Camp » Denali Base Camp NYO 2013: Day 3: One-Foot High Kick, Seal Hop, Alaska Native Dance Performances, and Closing Ceremonies » NYO 2013: Day 3: One-Foot High Kick, Seal... Heart Run 2013 » Heart Run 2013 Native Youth Olympics Day 2: One Hand Reach and Two Foot Kick » Native Youth Olympics Day 2: One Hand Reach... Photo Gallery: Clark Mishler's 'Portrait Alaska' » Photo Gallery: Clark Mishler's 'Portrait... Photos: NYO 2013: Day 1 » Photos: NYO 2013: Day 1 Unalakleet Clean Water Struggle » Unalakleet Clean Water Struggle Slush Cup 2013 (part 2) » Slush Cup 2013 (part 2) Slush Cup 2013 (Part 1) » Slush Cup 2013 (Part 1) Newborn Reindeer Calves at the Palmer Reindeer Farm » Newborn Reindeer Calves at the Palmer... Piuraagiaqta 2013: Barrow's Spring Festival » Piuraagiaqta 2013: Barrow's Spring Festival Giant Pacific Octopus Eggs Hatching » Giant Pacific Octopus Eggs Hatching 2013 Arctic Man » 2013 Arctic Man 20th Alaska Custom Cycle Show » 20th Alaska Custom Cycle Show Hand Counting Write-In Votes: Ernie Hall vs. Nick Moe » Hand Counting Write-In Votes: Ernie Hall vs.... Food Truck Carnival in Spenard » Food Truck Carnival in Spenard Rage City Rollergirls » Rage City Rollergirls Photos: Deadly Shooting in Fairview, Anchorage Police Officers Involved » Photos: Deadly Shooting in Fairview,... Photos: 2013 Municipal Election » Photos: 2013 Municipal Election Photo Gallery: Helo-1 and Crash Victims » Photo Gallery: Helo-1 and Crash Victims Ida'ina Gathering 2013 at Dena'ina Center » Ida'ina Gathering 2013 at Dena'ina Center The 2013 Sportsman Show » The 2013 Sportsman Show Photo Gallery: 2013 'Choose Respect' March in Anchorage » Photo Gallery: 2013 'Choose Respect' March in... Photo Gallery: Food Bank of Alaska's Canstruction 2013 » Photo Gallery: Food Bank of Alaska's... Funeral Service for Fallen VPSO Thomas Madole Held in Anchorage » Funeral Service for Fallen VPSO Thomas Madole... Kali, Orphaned Polar Bear Cub, at Alaska Zoo » Kali, Orphaned Polar Bear Cub, at Alaska Zoo Photo Gallery: Alaska State Troopers Armored Vehicles » Photo Gallery: Alaska State Troopers... World Baseball Classic: Puerto Rico vs. Dominican Republic » World Baseball Classic: Puerto Rico vs.... Photo Gallery: Kulluk Loading Aboard Xiang Rui Kou » Photo Gallery: Kulluk Loading Aboard Xiang... Photo Gallery: Recovered Polar Bear Cub Delivered to Alaska Zoo » Photo Gallery: Recovered Polar Bear Cub... Museum in Mountain View Name Changed » Museum in Mountain View Name Changed World Baseball Classic: Semi Final Game One: Puerto Rico v Japan » World Baseball Classic: Semi Final Game One:... Matzah Bakery » Matzah Bakery 2013 Oosik Classic Ski Race/Tour » 2013 Oosik Classic Ski Race/Tour 2013 Shamrock Shuffle » 2013 Shamrock Shuffle Pink Floyd Light Show at the Anchorage Science Museum » Pink Floyd Light Show at the Anchorage... Daytona Bike Week: National Guard SuperBike Race 1 » Daytona Bike Week: National Guard SuperBike... World Baseball Classic Round 2 Miami: USA v. Puerto Rico » World Baseball Classic Round 2 Miami: USA v.... Photos: ASD Names New Superintendent as Jim Browder Retires » Photos: ASD Names New Superintendent as Jim... World Baseball Classic: Round 2 Miami, Game One: Italy v. Dominican Republic » World Baseball Classic: Round 2 Miami, Game... Photos: Empty Bowl Project at Egan Center » Photos: Empty Bowl Project at Egan Center