OK, guys, so you were brushing your teeth this morning when all of a sudden you realized … OMG its Valentine's Day!
Hopefully, you recovered quickly enough from the shock to say something along the lines of, "Honey, we're doing Valentine's Day tonight, right?"
This gives you all day to rally and save your sorry behind.
The first thing you are going to need, of course, is a card.
Valentine's Day cards come in two general groups: humorous and mushy.
Go mushy. You can't go wrong with mushy, while you can go terribly wrong with humorous. If you have been married for a long time, you can go with either. Expectations have been sufficiently lowered.
The next thing you have to decide on is flowers or candy. Flowers are expensive and you can't help eat them. If you have to go the flowers route, try the single-rose gambit. The single flower makes you appear sensitive. Women tend to love this bogus side of men.
A word about lingerie: Don't. First off, women know that lingerie is more of a gift for you than it is for them. So you are not fooling anyone. Second, when it comes to anything beyond boxer shorts, you have no clue what you are doing. In less you have a death wish, stay out ofVictoria's Secret.
Finally, there is the matter of the romantic dinner, with the emphasis being on romantic. On this night, the quality of the food is secondary. What you are looking for in a restaurant is ambience. Ambience is another word for dark.
You mix ambience with those three little words, and dude, you are home free.
