Monday night's NFL outrage with the officials reminds me of the time in 2010 that "replacement Rankman" put Boise State at No. 1 and kept the Broncos there until the Friday night after Thanksgiving. This week's standings offer their own controversial finish, with four Big Ten Conference schools bunched in the basement for what should be an exciting playoff two years in advance of college football's new format. The winner gets the Floyd of Rankman trophy, presented by John Deere, at imaginary Grain Silo Stadium. Bump-of-the-week goes to Kansas State, which rockets 10 spots to No. 6 after last week's triumph at Oklahoma. Coach Bill Snyder called from his Little Manhattan project to wonder why Rankman was not this excited about his 1998 team.
1; Alabama 4-0; Players who gave up late touchdown to Florida Atlantic must wear scarlet lettermen's jackets. (1)
2; Oregon; 4-0; Geese protest that first league shutout since 2003 will be recorded as a "Duck Egg." (2)
3; Florida State 4-0; Halftime show idea for aging pop diva called "Fear the Spears" gets nixed. (5)
4; Louisiana State 4-0; PR firm says it can make two-point win over Auburn look like Doug Flutie's pass. (3)
5; West Virginia 3-0; Fans promise to respect and honor Baylor's past by not dancing on burning coaches. (4)
6; Kansas State 4-0; Workaholic Snyder celebrates Oklahoma win by sleeping with one eye wide shut. (16)
7; Texas 3-0; NCAA says school cannot count bye weekend as victory even though Oklahoma lost. (6)
8; Georgia 4-0; ESPN.Alpo reports mascots Uga (Georgia) and Smokey (Tennessee) will both call "tails" on coin flip. (8).
9; Notre Dame 4-0; New "Push Down Jesus" mural depicts Golden Tate's latest "catch." (12)
10; Stanford 3-0; Won't fly to Washington for Thursday's game until bum-squad clears city of replacement officials. (9)
11; USC 3-1; Rankman's biggest fear covering beat was getting kicked into a team's practice. (10)
12; South Carolina 4-0; Media Ad-Visor-ry: Spurrier quits taking questions from arrogant, game-cocky reporters. (13)
13; Florida 4-0; Has not lost to Kentucky since 1986 and not lost to Florida State since last year. (23)
14; Oklahoma 2-1; Sooners-Packers meet to discuss greatest botched officiating calls in Pacific Northwest. (7)
15; Clemson 3-1; Reminds Rankman of Rice Krispies (Snap, Crackle, Pop!) before you pour milk in bowl. (14)
16; Oregon State 2-0; Coach Mike takes players to In-N-Out after Little League win over Bad News Bruins. (20)
17; Louisville 4-0; Worst three-week scheduling stretch ever: at Florida International, at Southern Mississippi, at Pittsburgh. (15)
18; Texas Christian 3-0; Fort what it's worth: plays across town this week at Southern Methodist. (21)
19; Boise State 2-1; Carbon dating evidence in end zone confirms touchdowns were once scored there. (24)
20; Rutgers 4-0; Players returned from Arkansas saying the people there spoke with funny accents. (NR)
21; UCLA 3-1; Mora will bring back "Going Over the Wall" tradition so long as it only involves reporters. (18)
22; Ohio State 4-0; Jerry Lewis-type telethon proposed to pay for President Gee's next expense report. (11)
23; Michigan State 3-1; Border patrol implores driver of ESPN GameDay truck: "Turn around, we're not that good!" (22)
24; Northwestern 4-0; Gary Barnett tells Flat Earth Society gathering you will meet Colorado in Rose Bowl. (25)
25; Minnesota 4-0; Go figure: school has played Iowa since 1891 but never before in September. (NR)
Dropped out: Michigan (17), Arizona (19).
Moved in: Rutgers, Minnesota.
