A recent blog entry may have offered a clue about why the Corbett administration's wants someone else to administer the Pennsylvania Lottery.
"And while Lottery growth has been strong," it said, "it will not keep up with the demands of the state's increasingly grating population, Aging Secretary Brian Duke said."
Ain't it the truth. I know I get more grating every year. And graying besides.
I'm eventually going to turn this blooper column over to the Tamaqua Mad Clipper, who periodically sends me awesome collections of little clips, number coded to a sheet with his comments. I have a growing backlog of these and other items, and I need to get some of them in.
But first, I want to touch on a few other bloopers, including a couple of mine.
Several readers pointed out that I screwed up when I ran the following item in my last blooper column several weeks ago: "A flier for an Italian restaurant included some coupons with the notation: 'Eat-In or Take Out Only.' Uhh, what else is there?"
I could blame this on the person who sent it to me, but that would be a cop-out, because I didn't see the third choice — Delivery — either.
I also made another hanged/hung gaffe in the recent column about a lynching. Almost certainly one of your teachers told you paintings are hung, while people — columnists, for example — are hanged.
This next one is ironic, since it's aimed at students. A local credit union had the following headline on the lead story on its website: "2013 Scholarship Applciations Now Available!" Splleling Not a Faktor!
I also enjoyed this headline, sent by one of my regular correspondents who happens to be hearing-impaired. He sent it under the subject line: "Don't rub it in …"
The headline, from an online news site in Omaha, read, "Panel: Jury can hear deaf med student's suit against Creighton."
Think about it.
Now the best of an envelope full of clippings, drawn mostly from the Times-News, Palmerton, but also in some cases from The Morning Call. I stole some of this reader's wisecracks as mini-headlines.
Leap Year. Police item: "He was arrested on July 34, 2011, by Lansford police …"
Where Do I Start I? "Sovereign Bank filed a civil suit against Terrance Gilbert, 244 W. Ridge St., Coaldale, alleging he had defaulted on mortgage payments on his property and seeks a judgment of $48,210.27 and states unless payment are not made by August it will be put up for sheriff's sale."
Where Do I Start II? "The opposition was for reason of noise, bottleneck traffic, release of diesel fumes by taxing planes harmful to the health of the residents, devaluation of real estate values …"
Looooong Career. "In 2911, the Nationals signed Jason [it's Jayson] Werth to a huge contract …"
The Nights Are Longer in the Midwest. "They drove 17 hours to Lehigh's Stabler Arena to see their son score his 1,000th career point, then turned around and drove 17 hours that night back to Iowa."
They Weren't Fluid Either. "But the aggressive, full-court, man-to-man defense of the Vikettes consistently caused problems for Palmerton in their attempts to run a fluent offense."
Ten Years to Gear Up and She Still Lost. " 'The Undefeated' focuses on Palin's life as mayor of Wasilla, Alaska, as that state's governor and on the 1998 campaign."
Putting the Cart Before the Horse. " 'Take the statue down or we will' read a banner trailed by a small plane buzzing over State College."
It's Better Than a Strikeout. "Charlie Manuel is using the last 51 games to gauge his new and younger players' strengths and weaknesses to help him lay the groundout for 2013."
Dust Bowl, Explained. After complaining that delaying the pipeline put our oil supply in the hands of Middle Eastern countries and Venezuela: "In the past they have embargoed the soil and caused severe shortages in the United States."
That's What Happens When You Let Pigs Drink in Your Bar. "A state police fire marshal is trying to determine what caused a bar fire on a family farm that killed 60 to 70 pigs in southwestern Pennsylvania."
GM's New Line. "During the hold-up, one man remained outside in a blue Chevrolet Impala with a small spoiler on the truck."
Multitalented. "Roy Halladay, who is starting Tuesday's game, needs just four strikeouts to reach 2,000 for his career … is one of only two players to lead the AL and NL in stole bases."
Hard Luck Pitcher. "Austin Hyatt (2-52, 3.09) takes on Indianapolis' Rudy Owens (1-0, 2.12) at 7:05 tonight at Victory Field."
Tom Thumb, Eyewitness. "Two rocks damaged both the truck cab and the Great Dane 53-inch trailer that it was pulling."
MLB Needs a Mercy Rule. "RED SOX 8, ORIOLES 66."
Bring Your Own Jugs and Corncob Pipes. "This is a dog friendly hike, but all pets must be leashed and get along with other pets and people. It will be held only in shine weather."
Ringo, RIP. "Paul McCartney, the last of the Beatles, is outraged."
bill.white@mcall.com 610-820-6105
Bill White's commentary appears Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays.
