Once upon a time, society had the decency to keep its nut jobs largely under wraps.
We were like a giant Snickers bar. You knew the nuts were in there. But they were tucked safely away between the chocolate and the nougat.
The Internet changed all that. It allowed lone nuts to meet one another. Soon we had full-on clusters. And the clusters became emboldened, set up Web sites and became convinced nutty was the new normal.
This brings me to last week's news that more than 33,000 people have signed an online petition for Florida to secede from the United States.
Yes, it's 1861 all over again … well, except without any of these folks actually sacrificing anything for their alleged principles.
In fact, in 2012, you don't even have to leave your cubicle. Or give your last name.
Instead, the president made the mistake of setting up a website to listen to citizens' concerns — and the nuts quickly pounced.
Guys such as "Thomas V." from Mansfield, Ohio, are now demanding that Florida secede.
Don't ask me to explain why a guy from Ohio thinks anyone should give a flip about his opinions on Florida. Trying to rationalize the nuts' positions is like trying to explain calculus to my cat.
Still, Tom V. from Ohio had plenty of company from residents here in Florida. I saw cybersignatures from Orlando, Ocoee and Ormond Beach.
Heck, I found four from Mount Dora.
Think about that for a minute. Mount Dora has about 12,000 residents. If you're among them, that means there's a 1-in-3,000 chance you're married to wannabe-seceder.
(And if your spouse's name is "Cora S.," the odds are a whole lot better than that.)
So what do these seceders want?
Well, the petition says they want the White House to "Peacefully grant the State of Florida to withdraw from the United States of America and create its own NEW government."
Florida is not alone. Thousands of residents from other states — including Texas, Louisiana, Georgia, Tennessee, Alabama and North Carolina — are also asking to secede.
So I say: Let 'em.
That's right, I'm tired of indulging all the nuts.
(And lest there be any confusion, when I talk about "nuts," I'm not talking about the truly mentally ill, who need our care and support. I'm talking about people who should know better.)
You see, there was a day when most people acted like adults. With brains. And manners.
